How could you argue against life?

I was tired. I had never experienced so much pain. I wanted to give up. I had thousands of thoughts and emotions in my mind and tears streaming down my face. 

As I heard my daughters cry for the first time and held her in my arms, I knew at that very moment that life, the past nine months of hell, were worth so much more. 

I think being pregnant at age fifteen and in a private highschool and living in the home of a single parent with one younger sibling is one of the worst situations to be in. I know it could be worse, but trust me. It was really difficult. 

Bless my moms heart.

I knew I wasn't fit to be a parent at age fifteen... For heaven-sake I couldn't even drive a car, how could I raise a child? But I also knew I couldn't just "get rid" of the problem and just take care of it like it never happened.. "But no one will know. No one has to know" he would say. 

I knew I couldn't do it but I knew I couldn't raise a baby on my own. 

Everyone else in my grade was worrying about math assignments and who they were going to banquet with and I was busy researching the safest brand of car seat for a baby... Hah. 

But I knew I wanted my child to have a life I could never provide, just because of my age and my situation. It was hard enough for me to not have my dad around and I did not want my child to have to do the same. 

You know what's beautiful? For every  unexpected pregnancy, there's a couple DYING to have a child of their own that is unable to for medical reasons, personnal reasons, whatever it may be. I bet the number of women trying to get pregnant and the number of girls accidently getting pregnant are about the same. It's no coincidence. 

I happened to connect with a fabulous, loving, beautiful, wealthy, incredible family that was dying to have children for years but were unable to. 

I was the answer to their prayer, and they were the answer to mine as I knew I would in no way be able to raise a child/in no way could bring myself to simply "get rid" of an innocent life. 

What's more beautiful than life? 

The moment I heard the first cry out of my newborn, I realized that It was all worth it. Life is about giving life, creating life, living life. Not destroying it. 

It's such a complex issue, trust me I know. But, I can say choosing life, choosing love, choosing a little tiny peanut I saw in an ultrasound is so worth it. 

You know that's beautiful?

Grace turned 6 this summer. She is the greatest joy to our lives. She is active and strong and smart and beautiful. She loves horses and she loves life more than anyone I have ever met. 

Not only my family, but there is a whole other family that cannot imagine life without her. She has two families that love her more than anything. 

And I questioned whether or not she should live. Pffffffft. 

Life is about so much more. It's worth it, so worth it. I promise.